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In Adam's Fallby Jayge CarrThey cut off my wings.It had started like any other day, waking high midst green scent and leafysoftness, not alone; laughing and loving and playing, soaring and diving,squabbling amiably over which tree had the juiciest fruit or which of thefemales present had the highest arched wings.I saw the trap, but saw it too late; and then I was aware of nothing,until I awoke the second time that day, helpless while they finished,and I was crippled.I had heard of them, of course, winged news travels swiftly, heard of thestrangers, the aliens who had appeared suddenly, between a sunset be and asunrise, who had done many strange things - most recently the catching andmutilating of some of our people.What were they to me, I thought, these strangers? (Though I knew and calledfriend more than one among those taken.) These strangers meant nothing, andless than nothing, to me.Until they caught me, and crippled me.I hated them.The alien kept his face averted as he worked, but once I caught aglimpse of pity and envy mixed with dark anger in those strange roundeyes.Soon, too soon, my bonds fell away. There was no pain, no scars - nowings.The bottom surface of the alien's nest hurt the tender souls of my feet.I supposed I would grow used to it eventually, the hardness beneath, theloss of the freedom of the air.I limped, and my calves ached."Take it easy at first," the alien said, his voice rumbly, strangelyaccented, his face aimed over my shoulder. He was far taller than I,broader, wingless, his head aureoled in sunset glory. "Lean on things,don't move about too much. Get used to ground-walking, moving about onyour legs. It's not at all like shifting about on a tree branch. But goslowly at first, don't push yourself too hard.""Why?" I had meant to keep silence, but the question foamed out of me, athirst for knowing that had to be quenched. "Why did you do this to me,why must you mutilate us so?"For the first time the alien faced me eye to eye, his head bent. "Ican't explain it, youngster. You couldn't understand. But believe me,it's your own good.""Good? My good? To be crippled?""Your good, I said, youngster. Your people's good," the alien wasfierce. "I'm a medic, youngster, a healer, and I've seen moresuffering, more tragedy than you can imagine. And I know, sometimes,there must be hurt to cure.""Cure? But there was nothing wrong with my wings, nothing!""But there was, youngster. There was. Our computers said so. Your wingsmake it too easy, make lotus-eaters out of you. You need to struggle toadvance, you need-"My hands gripped his shoulders, felt warm flesh under strange wrappings."Give me back my wings!""I can't, youngster. What's done can't be undone - but - I'm sorry."I heard truth in that deep rumbly voice, and bowed my head, and shuffledabout as they directed me. One of them spoke long and enthusiasticallyabout something he called farming, and pressed small objects he calledseeds into my hands. Others gave me tools and strange devices. But I letit all slide out of my fingers as soon as I passed out of the aliens'compound.I limped away, not knowing where I was going, not caring, my abused feetcarrying me where they willed.With my wings I was safe, nothing to fear but the rare jawack orperchance a spiting slith. But on the ground, prey to every crawlingpredator...I didn't care.I came to a quiet pool, and bathed long, scrubbing with sweetmud tocleanse the alien stench from me.There Elluvee found me, staring unseeing into the green depths. Shefluttered down beside me, folding her wings, iridescent brilliance,around her. Elluvee, my sweet, my lithe green darling, my lady of thewind and the cloud.We cried together, and loved, for the last time.After, she offered to go to the aliens, that we might be together again.I refused. I would not have her crippled like me, for the sake of agenerous impulse.But I knew, even as I warned her of how I had been trapped, that therewas no safety for any of us, anywhere. But she must not give up even aday of wholeness for me. Who knew, perhaps the strangers would leave asabruptly as they had come.But they didn't.I was lucky. I got a scar, and then two, but I learned, and survived.Many of us didn't. I hated the aliens, and longed for the gay carelessfreedom I had lost, and my hatred grew, and grew.Then Elluvee was caught, as I had been.Someone brought me the word. We cripples were slowly learning to helpeach other, to survive. The winged ones, our once-selves, our brothers,didn't need, didn't bother. In the air, groups larger than three or fourdrew danger. On the ground, groups could be a protection.I hurried, through woods, across scented meadows. What I had learned inpain must protect Elluvee, until she, too, could learn.She came out of the door, the shining door, and she limped slowly on herunaccustomed feet, her pride dragging in the dirt.I met her, and her eyes stared past me, unseeing. I shook her shoulder,frightened. Others I had seen, like so. If the fierce ones do not takethem, their souls wither away, and their bodies follow."Elluvee, Elluvee, it is I, Jantzu! I will help you. It is bad, bad, Iknow, dearest, but I am here, I will help, you will learn, I saidsoftly, with emotion.Her eyes were wide, dark, staring blindly ahead."Elluvee!" Slowly, slowly, her head turned, her eyes met mine. There wasno anger or fear or hurt in them, only emptiness."Jantzu," she said; then, sadly, "No."Just that, no more.All my pleadings, all my fine words went for nothing. There is a cliff,below it a savage, foaming river, on its height a tree that bore herfavourite fruit. She asked me to climb the tree, to fetch some of thatfruit. I thought - Presence forgive me - that she was curing, that shewould accept, would learn as others had learned.I was back down, the fruit in a woven vine pouch, when I saw her nearingthe cliff's edge - and knew.It was far, too far, but I ran, I ran, cursing my foolishness in leavingher alone, even for so short a time. She was poised on the verge, andshe turned, and smiled, and said, "Farewell, Jantzu." And dove.She was so slender, so light, she almost flew by wind and will alone.And then she fell, and fell, until the water took her.And again my hatred of the aliens grew, though the full extent of theircruelty I was yet to learn. Elluvee was gone, but there were otherfemales among the groundlings, and loneliness is a heavy burden. Sincewe found greater safety in numbers, we were much together, and oneCaveen and I found pleasure in each other's arms, comfort fromloneliness.The clutch was born without wings.I asked about among the other groundlings, and all the clutches born tothose crippled by the aliens were the same.Most of the parents had, in pity preserved their offspring from ourcruel life, wrapping them after in spicy drylla leaves and returningtheir husks to the Presence.But one of mine reminded me, somehow, of Elluvee, and I couldn't bear tolose them.They died anyway, poor mites, one by one. Caveen and I quarreled, eachblaming the other, and we parted.I went to the aliens' compound.The others thought the infants' lack of wings but natural, since we hadall lost ours. But I knew better. My own sire Tzubannl had lost one ofhis arms to a jawack, and yet had lived to sire me. And I had two goodarms.The shining door opened, and I entered.A voice came out of nowhere. "Do you need some help?""I - I would speak with the one who took off my wings.""Oh, no, birdboy," the voice was firm. All about me were featurelessflat surfaces, palest green, even the door had disappeared into green.Yet there was light, and somehow, the voice. "There aren't enough of usthat we can let you in to cut somebody's throat.""I wished only to speak." Could these aliens, with all their strangepowers, die? As animals died, as we died? "I have questions that I needto be answered.""I'll bet!" The voice, like all the alien voices, was deep, rumbly,accented. Yet I could hear plain, his disbelief, incredulity.A different voice spoke. 'I'm Democritus Sung. What did you want toknow?""I - I - you are not the medic! Let me out of here!" I crouched, tryingnot to scream, to pound myself futilely against the strange hardnessthat was neither trunk nor leaf nor honest ground. The light, the voicesout of nowhere, the strange flat green hardnesses - when I had been herebefore I had been protected from the alienness by my own shock - now Iwas close to blind panic."Easy, son, easy," soothed the second voice. There was a tingling in mynostrils, and I was suddenly calm, in control of myself again. "Now,"the voice said, "what questions did you want to ask?""I - I -" It was hard, to speak to no one, to hear only voicesanswering. "I would know why.""Wheel," said the voice, "you don't ask easy ones, do you? What makesyou think a medic could answer, could explain better than any of therest of us?""Because of what I saw in his eyes. I think he would answer me, withtruth - and patience. And - and - there is something else I would ask,only that one could answer." I hesitated. "It is a - a thing close tome."An odd sound, like wind whooshing through a glade. "All right, son. Youcan come talk to me. And if I approve, you can speak to your medic. Justwait where you are, someone'll come and bring you to me."My escort was black, black of skin, of fur, black of eye. Even his teethand the... [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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